There are those crazy moments in life where non issues blossom.
It’s hard to see that until the story runs its course.
I guess this is one of those stories.
The year is 1989 ;
And, I made it big.
Out of all the employees the company wants me.
And, with that two dollar raise I am sky rocketing to $5.00/ hour.
I have the store keys.
wow what a thrill to be a boss before age twenty.
There seems to be no reality to hold my pride from sailing up to with the clouds.
And, why not when voted number one manager?
It takes a lot of effort to keep that title.
Arrive two hours early and do a four person prep job.
keep the employees happy.
Expect nothing from them.
Tell no one.
Relax, and drink coffee without a care.
Exchange competent manager for cool manager title.
Yet, others notice a change for the worse.
Management smells something like rotten bananas.
The staff works for no one but me?
This has never happened with previous managers.
What is my secret?
Why is everyone sitting around expecting to not work?
I know the answer.
I’ve spoiled them all.
I kind of feel bad.
It’s just gone too far.
All I can do is keep silent;
It is nice being the center of such respect.
Humiliation often follows a puffy head.
I know the rules yet I’m at a puffy place.
Perhaps, That’s why I lack foresight.
Rule number one never work alone.
Always enter and exit with at least one person.
Here is a non issue blossom.
If only I paid attention to actual issues!
It’s 8:00 p.m. My green hornet car dies again.
What a piece of junk.
Realization sets in, I have work tomorrow.
I’m opening manager.
Normally, my shift starts at 6:00 a.m.
So, let’s see to be there early enough To do everyone’s work load, I have to leave the house at 3:00.
What a mess.
I hate my car.
I’m not tired. How, am I going to sleep? How am I going to wake up?
I turn on the T.V.
This just in ” Beware women who are blond, and between the ages of eighteen to thirty. ”
my goodness that’s me.
I lean in to hear the details relating to my safe little community.
The news broadcaster fills me in to the horrifying details…
“There is a serial rapist walking the streets of this once safe community….
use caution around strangers…
…don’t accept rides…
he’s out there….please be careful
….if at all possible don’t walk alone at night.”
Of all the times for my car to break down,
Well, I’m in management.
I get paid the big bucks to do what I have to do.
I will have to risk my life by walking to work. I tell myself…this is not an issue as I stare into space.
The alarm clock gives off that annoying buzz.
It seems like I just fell asleep.
I eat my toast and cup of coffee.
I try to wake up.
I am slow to get ready, I really don’t want to come face to face with this person out there.
I could be his target today.
And, that would be awful.
Ok, if he shows up…I will .just keep my car keys between my fingers, so I can jab him and run.
I think about that some more.
What if that makes him mad?
What if he kills me? Oh this is all so dreadful. Now this is a real issue.
I leave the house.
There are knots in my stomach, and streaks of pain in my back. I run back in the house .
I suddenly, have cramps before my intestines explode. I’m sick.
How can I go to work?
“Well, buck up you are manager you have no choice.”
I hate management. I’m not that good. I’m cold; I’m tired, and I don’t want to die today.
I’m now ten minutes late.
This has put me behind.
Why do I worry like this?
Everything will be ok.
Stupid news caster just scared me. It’s fine. I comb my hair. Now, I’m ready to begin my walk.
This is not an issue…this is in your head…my inner voices chime.
Wow, I didn’t know it would be this dark. I can’t see. What if I get hit by a car?
Is that a Bob Cat? I think I heard a Bob Cat. It can’t be. There are no bob cats here.
It’s really cold. My chest hurts. I’m not sure if it’s a result of the cool air or , a possible heart attack?
Oh man, I hear a dog. Is that dog tied up? Or, is he coming after me?
A car soars by. ” get off the road.” I hear following a long continuous horn blowing.
I shake my head silently implying “whatever”.
Is this worth risking my life?
A car screeches. An engine rumbles.
I’m pretty sure it’s the car who beeped at me. He’s turning around.
Where can I hide?
Sure enough a car passes.
However, I am out of eye sight.
Suddenly, I am keenly aware that I am being stalked.
That car is following me down the street.
I am almost certain it’s him driving up and down the street.
The rapist is here.
If only I can keep creeping it will be ok. Ok if i am the mouse…I will Be the mouse.
..I will flee from the cat…and I will find the cheese by reaching the store.
I drop the keys as I reach the store.
How much more anxiety I can take?
Its ok… I made it.
I breathe in and out, I live another day. Why do I do that?
Just then, there is a knock on the back door. I knew it.
This is reality not , my imagination.
The rapist is outside my back door, and he is mad because thus far I have been able to elude him.
The light gave me away. Why did I turn on the lights?
I need advice. I run to the office and call my mom.
She will have wisdom how do I handle the situation..,the rapist who is beating the door down.
“Hey, I know you’re in there let me in.” I hear him call. He says more,” I see the light..come on can anyone hear me.”
Silence fills the air before my mom speaks.
” I never got to tell your brother,
“I love you.” before he was murdered.
That has been my biggest regret.
I’m glad you called.
I love you…if the worst should happen I feel better that I told you that.”
“What? You think I’m going to die? Great mom! Thanks a lot…that really helps…I have to go..bye…click.
My mom does her best to get in a final ” I love you.” I don’t want to hear it .
I call another manager and confess my wrong doing. I am in the store alone.
“So, this is how you get everything done.” Her clarity sets in. She has evidence to bring me down.
” Call the police..and then call the store manager.” She replies angry that I woke her up.
I call the police. They don’t have to tell me twice, stay in the locked office.
I Call the head boss. My cheeks are red from dread. She tells me what I already know. My job is on the line. There will be consequences.
I make one more call
“Mom why didn’t you tell me to call the police? Why did you kill me off?
What kind of mother scares her daughter like that? I know there isn’t a single answer to any of those questions. I just have to ask.
As I am venting the drive thru goes off.
I quickly hang up. I
I need to inform the police the situation is escalating. The phone rings.
I confirm that I am the one who called earlier, and now the guy is doing wheelies in the parking lot.
” no, it’s the police…your phone line has been busy.
We had no way to get your attention. Please walk to the back door. I nervously peek out.
There is the bread truck hoping to make an earlier delivery . It will save him two hours not to back track. What a crazy non issue.
Thirty years later as I remember this story….what I see is kind of funny. The world is full of stories. This is the day I recognize a part of me…. The one who makes non issues into issues. Perhaps that day gave me a clue that writing is more where I need to be. This is the perfect place to make a space where it’s okay to let the non-issues run free….let the yarn roll where it may.Let there be an unraveling and recognition of the many stories within.